Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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