He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize