During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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