You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
