Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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