i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
