if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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