seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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