My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize