Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This toilet bowl is my home.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
