I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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