just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have aggressive nipples.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
