well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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