Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
