she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
so much tequila, so little girl.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
