Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
