i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
