hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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