I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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