So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
