Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
