well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
