I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
