You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In America we eat man semen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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