Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
