I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
