I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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