I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
