Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
