I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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