Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
