yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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