If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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