I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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