My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize