just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
