Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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