Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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