im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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