first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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