Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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