THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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