I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
