So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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