Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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