Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
