I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
