U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize