Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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