I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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