do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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