so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
