I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
