I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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