I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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